At a small market near the airport, I found two hand-knitted sweaters in yellow, because my mother had written to say she was decorating the nursery in yellow. Then I bought white flowers from a roadside stall because white had always been Mara’s favorite.
I didn’t call ahead. I wanted to surprise my wife.
I imagined the door opening. Her face. The girls. God… I was so excited.
He cried on the phone when I told him.
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The drive from the airport felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life, and I spent most of it smiling. I remember thinking nothing could ruin that moment.
I was wrong.
***
I pulled into the driveway and sat there for a second, then stepped out and walked up to the porch. Something felt off before I even touched the door.
No light in the windows. No sound of a television or music, or the particular domestic noise of a home with two new infants in it.
I remember thinking nothing could ruin that moment.
