At eight the next morning, I heard a car engine cut off in the driveway. I was at the counter packing Dilan’s lunch when I looked through the front window and saw the patrol car. A sheriff was already stepping onto the porch, holding a clear plastic bag.
Inside it was a white hoodie. My son’s white hoodie.
“Would somebody please tell me what is going on?
I opened the door before he knocked. “Why do you have my son’s sweatshirt, Officer?”
Behind me, Dilan came down the hall, still buttoning one cuff. The second he saw the plastic bag, all the color left his face.
“Mom,” he said quickly, “I can explain.”
The sheriff looked at him, then back at me. His expression was not accusing. It was heavier than that.
“Ma’am, you have no idea what your son has done,” he said.
My fingers shook as I pulled the hoodie halfway out. One sleeve was torn nearly to the elbow. Dirt streaked the front. I remembered that Dilan had not been wearing it when he came in the day before, even though he had left in it that morning.
“Why do you have my son’s sweatshirt, Officer?
“We need you both to come in,” the sheriff said. “There was an incident yesterday involving your son and a report we need him to go over.”
As neighbors’ curtains shifted across the street, Dilan and I climbed into the cruiser. I kept waiting for someone to explain. No one did. Silence in a moving patrol car with your child beside you and his torn hoodie in your lap can make your mind go to terrible places.
